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No happy endings?

Does love even exist anymore? I personally believe in it but it seems like people nowadays are just not that committed. Whenever there's a problem, an argument, no one want to fix it or it is just one-sided.

Yesterday I found out that my ex-roommate broke up with her boyfriend of 8 years and a half about 4 months ago. How could you like and stay with someone so long and just easily dismiss them? I stalked the bf as well and there are pictures of his new girl. Somehow it broke my heart very much and I wanted to cry for her. My ex-roommate is a really sweet girl and she is gentle as well. She is like an older sister to me. Perhaps guys nowadays prefer the wild and fun types, it's hard to find a patient and kind one anymore. I remember her telling me how happy she is and how they are planning to get married after she graduate. I was so excited for her. I really would like to give her a hug now.

Today my senior gave me a gift to pass to his ex, who is my classmate. Asked me to pass to her secretly because her friends hate him. They were also those sweet couples that people coo at and never would I imagine it will end up like this. My heart aches everytime I see them. I can't be sure why they broke up but one of the reasons is religious interest. Despite my senior already suffering from depression and illness, he still try to make up something nice for the girl. Sometimes I hope my ex would be as gentle and forgiving instead of sulking but that's life. Nobody's perfect.

In his defense, he is a nice person, always giving me gifts but when troubles hit, I realized he's not able to pull me through. He is patient but it's the kind of patient where he will just be waiting until I've come to term with my insecurities which I never really because I was broken. I have been stronger since then but something has changed. I can no longer feel happy when guys treat me nice or confess their feelings. I am just like an empty void having this constant doubt that they will turn out the same way. Will they also blame it on me? Are they able to withstand stress and make sure all our problems are discussed? Will they diss me if they see a side of me that they dislike? Most guys have this ego where if something don't go their way, they'll just be defensive and blame others and that is something I dislike because I am the type to talk things through. Well, I just have to wait for one who's strong enough to comfort me during my down times but at the moment, I'm contented being by myself. :)

"Age doesn't equate maturity"

xoxo

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